NMA’S CORNER!
My mom had a provision shop although she newly opened it.
So on a very good day, she left the shop leaving me to take care of it.
This was her only rule “don’t sell on credit to any one” and my reply was “yes ma”
Any ways, since that was my first time in the shop, I sat on a chair and decided to pen my next week edition of Nma’s Corner.
Then all of a sudden, I felt a huge figure approaching.
A fat lady walked towards me, her body was all sweaty, the hankie which I think was meant to be white was the colour of a minimie chinchin carton and she pinned it beneath her armpit.
More so, the Skygo blue shirt she was wearing was already stained with oil if not okra soup.
Disgust filled my sight as she approached towards the shop.
Lady: Who deyooo?
Me: We dey wetin u won buy?
Lady: Una get big coke?
Me: Yes.
Lady: Gimme one.
Immediately, I opened the fridge and gave her one big coke of #150.
She opened it and I watched her as it gulped down her throat immediately she took it down it had already gone half way.
Me: Give money
Lady: No worry, I be your Mama regular customer, tell am say na me.
I then remembered my mom’s rule.
Me: No ma, my mama nor dey.
Lady: But I don start to dey drink am na!
Before you knew what, she threw the empty can away.
“I just off”.
My mom will just sell me to buy that coke, not because I sold the coke, but because I disobeyed her.
Then I remembered my dad’s technique.
Me: I no go fit oo
Lady: Make I kon vomit am.
Me: I nor noooo.
Lady: Abeg make I dey go.
Me: Madam nooo, a nor know how you wan take do am.
Lady: Abeg na.
Me: No.
She then hissed. This woman don see problem, there was no way I was going to let her go without paying.
She started ranting; I didn’t give a freak, na she know.
All I cared about was the money
Because I didn’t want her to rant away with the money, I opened the door demarcating us.
The smell that came from her hit me like bomb.
Madooo!
She began to create a scene. Any one she saw, she told.
Everyone was looking at me like I was the guilty one.
I think she was waiting for someone she would tell to scold me or pay the bill for her.
NA BAD MARKET FOR AM, WAHALA DON SEE PROBLEM.
We spent up to 30 minutes doing this until she brought #1000 notes from her pocket.
And this were her words
“na only God know if una go get change”
I ran out of breath “change nor deyooo”
Lady: Better go findoo, I owe una you nor gree, so you nor go owe me.
Like I have the time “change nor dey na say change nor dey, nothing she can do about it “
Luckily for me, I saw my mom approaching and she gave the situation a remedy by giving the lady her change.
And that closed the chapter.
